It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Knucklehead receiver Plaxico Burress was acting like a Giant jerk at the Latin Quarter even before he shot himself and ended up on the floor shaking and bleeding, employees at the Midtown club said.

“Burress was an ass,” said a female bartender about his conduct last Saturday.

“He was rude and disorderly and didn’t acknowledge anyone unless they were in the VIP section. He didn’t treat anybody with respect.

“I’d rather work with regular customers. Celebrities like Plaxico just cause more problems. He gives the club a bad rep,” the bartender said.

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Miles ,

My son wants a Wii for Christmas, but don’t video games rot the mind and contribute to child obesity??

After careful review, I think the Wii might cause obsessive masturbation in teenage boys.  After watching my future Trophy Wife play Wii for an hour, I played with my Wii for like 7 minutes.  Just think, eventually your sons girlfriends will be 18, get the damn kid a Wii if you know whats good for you!!

- Miles Cyrus

I’m sure since he now will not get the chance, O.J. would have wanted me to wish you and yours a Happy Holiday, and to tell you when cutting Holiday meat make sure you use a sharp knife to get the job done right!!  On a side note, I have tickets to the Goldman Family Bash taking place tonight and everyday for the next 15 years !!

- Miles Cirus

OJ was sentenced to at least 15 years in prison today for his part in a Las Vegas robbery at gun point.  He will be elgible for parole after a minimum of 5 years served.  The judge emphisized that the sentence in the Las Vegas case had nothing to do with Simpson’s 1994 acquittal in the slaying of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman.  The judge refused OJ bail while the trial goes to appeal.

Where is Johnny Cochran when you need him…oh yeah…he sold his soul and now he’s dead.  Michael Jackson better be careful, he might not be able to beat another molestation case without him.  The first thing OJ said after hearing his harsh sentence was, “It’s not like I killed anyone”. OJ must feel like an idiot to beat a murder rap, then get popped for 15 years on a robbery charge.  I hope he enjoys the taste of karma for the next 15 years…damn that payback, she sure is a bitch!!

     – Miles Cyrus